Parenting 101

Lesson #15 

Attention class, we have a very important lesson for today.  The lesson can be simply stated: When teaching your children about their private parts, it's a good idea to tell them the real names for their parts instead of silly names. 

Here are three examples to illustrate the importance of this lesson.

Example #1
Background: In the Bell house, the name for the "boy part" is noodle.
Setting: The kitchen table at dinner time
Children involved: Eli and Noah

At dinner one night, a few weeks ago, Noah leaned over to Eli and said, "Hey Eli, when Grammy comes, we can play with our noodles."

Reaction: Mike, Eli, and I all just laughed.  We realized that Noah was not talking about "boy parts"; he was talking about the foam noodles in the coat closet we bought for his birthday party.  It still sounded really funny.

Example #2
Background: I don't know where Leah learned the term "nuts" for part of a boy.
Setting: In the kitchen one afternoon
Children involved: Leah

One afternoon, Leah asked me simply, "Mom, what if a boy got pregnant and the baby came out of his nuts?" 

Reaction:  I tried so hard not to laugh while I replied, "I don't know.  I guess it would hurt a lot."

Example #3
Background: Here comes that term "nuts" again
Setting: In the living room while watching Men's Olympic diving
Children involved: Leah

One day, we were watching a men's Olympic diving event.  After a Chinese diver (I think) went, it showed him just waiting for his score in his little speedo.  Leah commented, "Look.  That guy's nuts are brown." 

Reaction:  I quickly looked at the TV screen to make sure his nuts really weren't showing.  Fortunately, they weren't.  It was his nipples that were brown and showing.  That's what she was talking about and I have no idea why she called them nuts.  I told her they were his nipples.  She knows that word. 

There is your parenting lesson for the day.  Keep it in mind when you're teaching your children.  Use the proper words, or keep using silly words like I plan to.  It makes for more interesting dinner conversations.