She's DOOMED!!

Poor, poor Leah May Bell is doomed to a life of being taller than all her friends, I just know it! She had her 18 month check up on Thursday and she's in the 97th percentile or higher in height, weight, and head circumference. (At least she's symmetrical!)

The doctor asked how tall I am and how tall Mike is. I told him, then added Mike's dad is tall and my brothers (well, most of them) are tall too. And, I told him I was a big baby and I've always been the tallest out of all my friends. He said Leah will probably be like me, since she's already on the big end of the scale and she's following a nice, steady growth curve. It doesn't look like she'll take a dive to the small end any time soon.

So, to Leah, I say, "I'm sorry for being partly genetically responsible for making you tall. But don't be ashamed! Being tall is a great thing and eventually, the boys will catch up and be taller than you, at least some of them. Just make sure when you pose for pictures with your friends that whomever is taking the picture holds the camera high enough, so that they don't cut off the top of your head!"

Here's a nice picture of me posing with some of my friends. But wait, where did the top of my head go? AAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

Here are two pictures that prove Leah's future plight. The cute, little, blond girl is her friend Natalya. Natalya is almost 3 months older than Leah, but as you can see here, Leah's a bit bigger than her.

Hooray for Easter!!

We actually started doing Easter stuff on Monday (which was also St. Patrick's Day) for Family Home Evening. We started with a lesson on the resurrection. It was received fairly well, although, I'm sure Eli didn't quite grasp the total significance. He also really didn't like the part when we told him that bad people killed Jesus. He wanted the bad people to turn into good people. But, at he did sit through the whole story. It helped that we had a video.

Then, we colored Easter eggs. This was something Eli was really looking forward to. He chose which egg-dying kit to buy at Wal-mart last weekend. Out of the 100 different choices, he chose the one that makes glitter eggs. Way to go!! That's the one I would have chosen, also. But, please believe me when I say that I did not try to influence his decision (for once).

So, I started getting everything set up when I opened the box and there were no color tables inside!!! I could not believe it. I was outraged! I spent a whole $1.88 on that kit and there were no color tablets. I hope someone at the packaging plant got a stern talking to for forgetting the most important part of the kit.

Fortunately, my mother-in-law came to the rescue! She had some left over from last year that we used. I was really relieved. The last thing I wanted to do was run out to the store at 6:45pm or try to tell Eli we would have to wait until the next day.

It all ended pretty well. Although, most of the glitter stuck to the first egg and the sticky glue that comes with it took off a bunch of the dye. So, we (meaning I) only glittered 3 eggs. We had fun though. Eli's hands turned dark green and purple. Leah got to walk around naked the whole time and eat M&M's. And Mike and I got to express our creativity through a childish, secular, holiday celebration. It was great. And, we had Doritos for the refreshment (chosen by Eli, I wanted DoubleStuf Oreo's, but it was his turn to pick). Here are some pictures for you to enjoy!

Cartoons for thought

Now, I want a lot a feedback on this one because I think about this subject often. So please take this seriously.....

Why do most cartoons, which have animals acting like humans as main characters, have animal characters that just act like animals-no talking, singing, dancing like humans?

For example:
Sesame Street-Barkley the dog
Word World- Dog
Gargoyles-Bronx, the gargoyle dog
Mickey Mouse- Pluto
Arthur- whatever Arthur's pet dog's name is

Some of you might not be familiar with all of those shows. I watch a lot of PBS and Disney Channel. I have noticed that many of the mute characters are dogs. Is there a reason for that? Why are some poor characters doomed to a life of ordinary animal-like behavior while their animal counterparts get to talk and wear clothes? (I don't know if they are really jealous of the clothing part of it) This happens in movies also, but I think I'm going to narrow my research to just cartoon shows on TV.

Having thought upon the subject further, I think the dog connection is it. They (the talking animal characters) need for us to feel like we can relate to them. One way they do this is through having pets. Lots of kids have pets or want one. Hmmmmm......I may be onto something. But, don't you think those poor animal pets feel left out? Please, let me know what you're thinking and if you have any more examples to share!

I think it was just the moon's alignment.

Or perhaps it was something he ate. Whatever it was, Eli is doing much better today. There was no washing the mouth with soap, no time-outs, nothing, except the usual stuff. We actually had a good day. I'm amazed! And very grateful, too! Days like today-normal days- make days like yesterday much easier to handle. So, the moral of the story is, if you, your child, your spouse, your co-worker, or whomever is having a crazy, psycho day, just wait a day or two and they should snap out of it. If they don't, then give yourself a time-out so you can keep your cool!!!

Don't worry, Eli is still alive!

For those of you with kids, (or those who don't just think of yourself as the child I am talking about) have they ever had one of those days where they just don't want to listen ANYTHING you say? Eli had one of those days today. This morning, we went to the Bean Museum, one of his favorite places, with Tanner, one of his favorite people, and had a picnic, one of his favorite ways to eat lunch. Usually, when we do fun things like that, he's really good. Well, at one point, he started kind of fighting with another girl who was in the playroom, over some toys they both wanted. I had to take him out and put him in time-out to get him to behave. (Although, she might have had it coming to her a bit, I think she tried taking some toys way from him earlier. What do you think Brittney?) And at the end of the picnic, something happened and Eli told Tanner he wasn't his friend anymore (this happens often enough that we know he doesn't mean it). Now, that wasn't too bad, but things just got worse when we got home.

By the time we got back, it was quiet time (the most wonderful time of the day). Mike was playing a computer game and Eli wanted to watch. I didn't let him and for the next half hour, all I heard out of his mouth was "Dummy Head" and the like. He had to get his mouth washed out twice and he spent quiet time in his bed (he usually spends it in my room with me, playing quietly).

The rest of the evening was as follows: He took toys away from Leah. He gave me a hard time about getting in the shower. He gave me a hard time about getting out of the shower and getting dressed. He teased Leah with toys. I think in there somewhere he make Leah cry and either hit or pushed Mike. And then, he completely flipped out when it was bed time.

That part is all just a blur now, but I keep seeing flashes of Eli not brushing his teeth, trying to fight his way back into the bathroom for a drink, and me holding him on my lap until he calmed down, which took several minutes. It was awful!! He doesn't usually act like this, but every once in a while, when the moon is in a certain alignment, he turns into the dreaded JOHNNY SANDERS. That's what we call Eli when he does stuff we don 't like. He hates being called that and usually snaps out of it in a few minutes. But not today.

Oh well. He's sound asleep now and has been since about 7:45pm. I'm completely wasted! I feel like I just did something.............really tiring. (Sorry, I was trying to think of some clever analogy to say there, but I'm too tired to be witty) Does this ever happen to you? Does any child of yours ever completely change into some crazed monster that doesn't want to listen one single bit? I just hope he turns back into Eli tomorrow. I love Eli. I don't love Johnny Sanders!! (I apologize to any of you who happen to be named Johnny Sanders or know some wonderful person with that name. It's just something my father-in-law came up with) :~)

And the votes are in!!

Plate will be the name of our newest little one! Thanks for all those who cared and voted. I am really feeling the love right now.

The official results are as follows:
Albacore-0
Requiem-4
LaVerkin-1
Plate-5

It was a close race. I'm just surprised there weren't more tuna lovers out there. In the end, Mike and I are really happy with the name. We're relieved to finally know what to call "it". Now, every time I get kicked, I'll say, "Oh, little Plate, quick kicking my bladder!"

Oh the things that they will say..or do!

Here are some amusing things Eli has said or done recently. I thought you might enjoy them too:

I was playing a dinosaur chasing game with Eli this afternoon. I get to be the long-neck and he gets to be the T-Rex (you'll never guess who gets eaten every time). So, as I was being attacked, I fell on the couch and somehow scratched my elbow on Mike's jacket and made it bleed. After I got bandaged up, Eli said in a very serious, matter-of-fact voice, "Ouchies sometimes come." He's right and it did make me feel better. That means it must work on him when I say stuff like that.

Sometime during the game, Eli told me, while I was being a long-neck, that I could go lay a baby. I had to explain to him that animals either have a baby or lay an egg. They don't lay babies. I just wonder what he imagines when he thinks about me having a baby. I wouldn't be surprised if the image of a giant egg comes to his mind. OUCH!

The other night, Eli told me he had a bugger in his nose and he was sniffling. I asked him if he wanted a tissue and he said, "No Mom, I'm soaking it up." And he continued sniffling.

Last night, Eli was giving me a hard time about saying bedtime prayers. I had to take away his glow sticks because he was being bad. After many tears, he finally asked me if he could say prayers. I helped him out, but then I asked if there was anything else he wanted to add. He said in his prayer, "Please bless that I won't have a cranky night from Mommy." I hope what he was trying to say was that he didn't want to be cranky any more FOR Mommy.

Finally, in the middle of quiet time today, Eli had to go poop. This is not unusual. I swear he holds it until the most inconvenient time. So, I let him go by himself, knowing full well that in 5 minutes, I'd have to get out of bed and check on him because the bathroom provides too much temptation. He also doesn't always wipe quite well. So, I get up, expecting to find the toilet full of toilet paper and soap everywhere. What I found instead was Eli, with no pants or undies on (normal), having not wiped his little bum (normal), with black stuff all over his face and the sink (not normal). Fortunately/unfortunately, he had found an old stick of eye liner in the garbage, where I had put it this morning. He must have seen it and thought it would be cool to put it on his face and the sink. He didn't even know it was on his face until he stood up on the stool and looked in the mirror. I tried really hard to reprimand him, but all I could do was laugh. That little boy gets side tracked so easily. He probably would have stayed in there for an hour, half naked and unwiped, playing with the eye liner, if I hadn't gone in there. Here's a picture of his beautiful eyeliner!

This is something happy, I promise!!

It's time for "Eli's Birthday--Part 2"

I know, you've all been waiting so patiently. Well, here you go. More pictures from Eli's birthday. Part 2 is a treasure hunt. My dad, who lives in PA, sent Eli a treasure map and a big treasure to find. It was soooo cool. He was accompanied by his best buddy Tanner. With swords in hand, together, they successfully followed the map (with the guidance of someone who can read) and uncovered the slightly buried treasure. Here are some pics for you to enjoy!

The expedition began in the bathroom of course!

The map then led them to a more dangerous area in the Mountain Oaks region. The men had to carefully navigate around deer and Paco poop. It got a bit raw and dicey, but they managed to make it to the pond.

Upon throwing a magical rock in the pond (don't tell my father-in-law, he doesn't like rocks in the pond), a secret door opened to reveal the next leg of their journey.

They were led down into the deep, dark garage, where they found the treasure at last!

It took many men and little girls to fully uncover the treasure chest. Who knew pirates had access to UPS and their ability to package things very thoroughly.

At last the treasure chest was opened. Fortunately for Eli, it seems these pirates had a thing for dinosaurs. They filled their chest full of dinosaur paraphernalia.

Loboto-ME?!?!?!

If any of you out there have been considering having a lobotomy, please don't do it! I've been reading this book called My Lobotomy by Howard Dully. It's basically the author's memoirs about his lobotomy when he was 12. It's a very sad story, but I've been enjoying it because it gives an inside look into what it would have been like to be this poor man, growing up in a terrible home, having this "surgery" and then being moved from one type of institution to another.

Mike thinks I'm weird because I enjoy books like this, but what can I say? It should make sense because I studied Social Work in college. If you look it up in the dictionary, Social Work is defined as "the study and prevention of sad and terrible things that happen to people." It's just something that interests me.

For those of you who don't happen to know what a lobotomy is (and I didn't really know before reading this book), it is a psychosurgery where the connections from the frontal lobe of the brain to limbic system are severed. Or, it's when the frontal lobe is just made into mashed potatoes. It affects a plethora of different aspects because the frontal lobe is involved in a number of things such as motor function, problem solving, spontaneity, memory, language, initiation, judgement, impulse control, and social and sexual behavior. And it effects everyone a bit differently.

But if you're really sold on the idea of getting a lobotomy, I, personally, would choose the ice pick lobotomy. I'm not making that name up. It's where the patient is lovingly rendered unconscious by electroshock. This is followed by having the skull broken open behind the eyes and ice picks inserted and wiggled around to mush up the brain. It leaves no visible scars and can probably be considered a same-day surgery. Just take a pair of sunglasses with you so that you can hide the black eyes you'll get.

Well, enough of this morbid entry that probably reads like a term paper. I should probably cite my sources, but I don't remember APA format. Oh well. I promise to blog about something more happy next time. Perhaps I'll even continue telling about Eli's birthday, since it's been more that two week since it happened and I still haven't gotten to parts 2 and 3. Also, I won't be offended if no one comments on this post. I realize it's a bit off the wall. I'm just trying to mix things up a bit.